Thursday, May 3, 2012

Never Tell Me I Can't

For most of you that know me, you know that I am a determined soul. The more you tell me I can't do something, the more likely I am to try and prove you wrong. Yes, it is annoying at times and may sometimes make me look like a perfectionist. The truth is, if I don't think it is a challenge, I probably won't try as hard.

A great example of this is college. I was lucky to have gone to an incredibly hard prep school from 6th grade on. By the time I had gotten to Clark, I knew how to write a pretty solid paper, compose a simple band piece, build a set and so on. This meant that I was not pushed to the limit for school work. Papers were done in the wee hours of the morning and exams were taken with not enough prep. I finished my degree in not as stellar of a gpa as I could have achieved, but a decent one none the less. When it came time for my masters, I was challenged. I was working 60+ hour work weeks while traveling for my job 3-4 times a week. On top of the crazy schedule, I had to fit in paper writing, attending class and studying for exams. As stated above, I was officially pushed to my limit. The results of those crazy years ended up being an amazing gpa and a pretty stellar thesis. Anyone up for reading about employee motivation without compensation?

Once I finished my MBA, I needed a new obstacle to tackle with all my free time. Triathlons it was and I ended up struggling a few years to eventually find my place. I was not top podium finishing, but I progressed to high middle of the pack which was fine by me. I added difficulty by taking on half marathons and was having fun with that when I upped the anti even further by training for a marathon. As we all know, someone was laughing at me when I took up that challenge and gave me 89 degree weather to make it even more of a crazy accomplishment. I finished, albeit it slow, but strong enough to get my name in the paper and my medal. What does this all have to do with present time?

Yesterday our work team had a town hall where the head of the group spoke about this year's vision and goals. At the beginning of the meeting he announced achievements for the year and one slide was devoted to the Boston Marathon. There on the screen were the smiling images of two of my colleagues, but something was missing. I did not make it up there to share in the glory of finishing. Everyone in the room was so supportive and angry at the omission. It is no surprise that I had the support of so many colleagues and executives at my job that they had every right to be not thrilled. I was somewhat crushed at my name not being there. The BAA recognized my finish, all my friends and family did as well, so why was I missing? On the car ride home, I did my usual dwell on life during 30 minutes or less. The ride started with me upset and finished with me angry. The anger drove to passion as it was as if I was told I couldn't do something. And help everyone in sight when I am told I can't.

The anger from omission has driven into a new desire that I never before felt. The bottled up anger went into me wanting to run and run hard and long. The running is my way of showing that I still can do it. Despite everyone, I can run strong and I can run hard. And in return, that man did something he never will know he did. I am more driven to run as fast as possible for Marine Corps. My life is back to running as much as possible and pushing myself to the limit to show everyone that I am a true athlete and can do what I put my mind to. Boston was for the experience, but now I am out for blood and glory. Bring on the next 5 months!

1 comment:

  1. OMG I would have been SO PISSED. You run girl and don't let anyone look down on your because you don't look like a runner or because you are not a speed demon. You run. You are the .1 % of people who have run a marathon and everyone else can suck it.